i hate myself

im still having pains, i was given medications. i want to think positive, i hate myself for entertaining negative thoughts. i hate that i cant think that im going to be well. Lord help me, help me strengthen my faith in you. Help me build up the hope that is remaining in me. I know that you alone Lord can heal me completely. please let me feel your loving embrace. Help me lord to lengthen my patience. help me fix my life and dedicate it to you.